There is a feeling that many of us have in the pit of our stomaches. One we don’t openly share, but veil away like an embarrassing secret. You know which one I’m talking about… it’s doubt. Doubt can hurt, it can cripple, it can hold us back, it pulls in a moments notice and topples us into the dark cavern of uncertainty. We avoid it at all cost, even to our own peril sometimes.
Doubt has two sides though. The MOST importantly part of doubt – the part we can never forget – is that it can be harnessed like a wild beast to be rode into the sunset of the most amazing life any of us can imagine. I know I get extreme sometimes but I’m not too far off base.
The feeling that we will never be good enough is not a feeling that we should tie cinder blocks to and drop to the bottomless pit of our souls never to surface. Instead, uncage that animal and have your leash and collar ready. No matter if you are an amateur or a life-long master of your craft. No matter if you aspire to cure cancer, write 100 novels, get the guy/girl of your dreams, etc. In life it is the sober truths, the cold slap in the face realities that push us higher – greater – capacities greater than our own knowing.
Die so that even your last breath is used to fuel the thought that pushes you to grow one more ounce of human capacity.
Over the years, I have personally had bouts with not feeling good enough. The thought makes me feel sorry for myself and (I hate that feeling). Deep down I know I can do anything. I feel guilty because I am good, I try hard, really damn hard. TOO hard sometimes and yet see nothing. I’m going to admit something here, an ahh-ha moment of realization; the jokes on me. This thinking makes ME A FOOL. I’m a fool because what I feel like I should be seeing is all just superficial stuff. I’ve warranted my success on sales, praise, blog visitors and likes. Even when I get them I feel like people are just being nice and not really meaning what they say. So in the end it’s really a lose-lose.
That is bad, right? The answer is – NO IT”S NOT.
Huh? You say…
The feeling that we are not good enough is not something to remove.
If there is any point in my life where I feel good enough, I’ll be disappointing the little shoulder perched, angle version of myself. I will have cheated myself out of venturing any further beyond my own human capacity. We are all broken and breaks are good. They allow us opportunities to expand. Shed the old skin and grow a larger one. Learn from each break as to not have that pain again, but embrace it. How you use the struggles of life will determine their effects on you. Make them count.
It is amazing how easy it is to let the abstract fear of never amounting to anything cripple us into the fetal position. Instead, rest assured that the feeling is a powerful and good one that you need not fight. I know it’s hard, trust me. I’ve said many times that I have a giant fire that rages under my ass which never lets me slow down (even when I try like hell to). I feed that fire with every disappointment, every ounce of doubt, every loaded comment, every moment I second guess myself. The fire rages. We are all capable of this fire, it is what keeps us alive, going – aiming for life worthwhile.
In the end I believe we are all just tangled matter. Beautiful, brilliant, love-capable matter. Spend your lifetime, what you have left, breaking, expanding, learning, loving, and pushing yourself to master it all. MASTER yourself. Harness that beast that scares you the most, stare it in the eyes and ride it into the sunset of the most amazing life YOU can imagine.
Dream Big and With NO Excuses.